I’m going to try and blast out a post before I lose my energy/nerve/focus/consciousness.
While there’s a lot I could – and really should – talk about, paragraphs that start with statements like “there’s a lot I could – and really should – talk about” are exactly the sort of openers that have put me off writing up until now.
Instead, I’m going to stick to bullet points.
2017: Has begun! While you might accuse me of being slow on the uptake, 2017 had something of a false start. A terrible year of sickness/absence and general lethargy meant 2016 was the year that wasn’t. 2017 began a year in which amazing things were going to happen! I bought myself a personal organiser, and everything!
Although I burst into 2017 with plans and the energy to fulfil them, a hideous bout of flu sucked most of that out of me. Then the personal organiser (apparently a more significant symbol than I’d thought) failed to arrive. Then the mental shittiness hit me and, well, despite a spark of enthusiasm remaining, the majority of me fell into a slump. At some point in proceedings – probably more connected to my decision to go back onto Sertraline than I’d like to think – everything started to look up a bit. Slowly but surely, my little spark of enthusiasm began to grow. I’ll get into specifics in the points below, but the real turning point came when – last week – that bloody personal organiser showed up. Turned out it had been delivered to the wrong place and had been left all alone, until some enterprising individual picked it up and thought “wow, this parcel that’s been sat here since the second week of January should probably get passed onto its owner”.
Thank you, enterprising individual. You’ve done more than you could possibly realise.
I’m not saying that the personal organiser was in itself the catalyst, so much as it marked the moment when I understood that 2017 was ready to begin. Things had started getting better in the weeks beforehand, and having that organiser in my hands felt like a great sign.
Work: Going well. I’ve moved to a different office which is smaller and generally nicer. I miss the company of the larger, more open office, but there’s something to be said for a cosy corner with a window at my back and the ability to look at visitors with a desk between us. It gives a Skeleheron all manner of airs.
My general enjoyment of the job is growing. Things are a little stressful, however, as we’ve been too successful for our own good: We’ve signed on a slew of new clients and everyone’s working at maximum capacity. There’s a sense of working day-to-day which does scupper longer-term plans relating to strategy and organisation. Still, I’m hopeful. Things are pretty positive. As long as we can get some more employees on board soon, we should be fine.
Health: Physical health is okay. Not great, but I’m not sick and don’t have any complaints worth lingering on so I can’t complain. I remain a lazy pos, but I’ve all but stopped drinking (seriously: alcohol just doesn’t interest me). I’m still attached to my e-cig, but one bad habit at a time, eh? I’m drinking so much more water. I think over the last month I’ve drunk more water than I did so for the entirety of 2016. It’s gross and my pickiness remains, but my skin is clearer, my insides feel sparkly clean, and I’m saving a lot of money. All good stuff.
Mental health is improving every day. Sertraline really is my life saver. I’m on a low dose with little interest in increasing it at the moment. My chemistry feels like it’s still adapting and I want to keep my mind as clear as I can. I’ve already taken time off to adjust to the prescription and I don’t fancy losing more leave to the cause.
Reading: Voraciously. I’m on a Stephen King kick at the moment. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve re-read The Talisman, I finished Black House for the first time, I’ve just closed Rose Madder, and I’m currently on with Insomnia. I think my grand plan is to re-read the Dark Tower series. Before I do that, I want to read as many of the books that link to it as possible so I can better appreciate all the subtle nods. I’m enjoying it so far. I haven’t found myself screaming furiously at any of the endings, anyhow.
I’ve ordered more books on Amazon so I have options once Insomnia‘s done. Next, I think I’ll have a go at The Regulators.
Watching: Breaking Bad. First time watching and I’m absolutely loving it. This year I’ve also watched Seven Psychopaths and In Bruges for the first time. I think I’ve discovered a new favourite director.
Living: Still at the same house, with the grand move creeping ever closer. As I write this, we’ve got a midi skip out the front which is already a third full. I’ve done a lot of sorting out this last month or so: DVDs have been decanted from their boxes and the CDs moved to a couple of sleek but substantial carrying cases. Box sets have been kept as they are. I’ve sorted out the catastrophe that is the monster hole (don’t ask): an entire walk-in cupboard of dishevelled fabric scraps, battered props, Christmas rubbish, and “I’ll deal with that later”s has been reduced to a few manageable boxes. Under the bed has been completely cleared, and I’ve even dealt with all the hidden piles of miscellanea that have been added to over the course of, uh, 5 years? We’re talking about dark, ill-visited crannies down the side of/back of couches – digging through them revealed a strata of hobbies and crafts.
Even before the skip arrived, I’d built up a good 9 or 10 bin bags’ worth of rubbish.
I’ve repainted the dining room and restored it to all its beige and muted chocolate glory. Holes have been filled (hurr) and efforts to turn the corridor-like space into an actual room have been surrendered. I tried and failed. It was doomed from the start.
Next on the cards is to finish filling the skip, box up a few more things, and paint the blue sitting room. Not looking forward to that last one in the slightest. There’s so much stuff in that small space and none of it wants to move.
Looking: I’m bald! I shaved my head for charity, and it was fantastic! Seriously: I love not having a big, messy mop. I feel that it was less of a sacrifice and more me putting my poor, abused mane out of its misery. I’m going to grow it a little to see what it looks like short, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I opted to return to baldiness. I feel so clean and neat!
If I could just get rid of the psoriasis on the back, I’d be ecstatic.
I’ve lost a bit of weight thanks to not drinking as much alcohol which adds to my self-confidence. I’m getting better at taking care of myself (getting washed, wearing make up, etc) and I feel wonderful for it.
Animals: All cats are good. Lily managed to fuck up her tail recently, but that seems to have healed. Silvas is fine as ever.
Visited: Went to the North East and saw puffins, seals, and shags, a beautiful heritage house and its grounds, and visited the Ginger’s dad. The hotel was a bit awkward (terrible first night, better second and third nights), and the food was good. Nothing too much to add to this. It was a pleasant break marred by news of Lily getting herself hurt and sleeplessness. Somehow I felt well rested, though, and that’s what I really needed.
Playing: Far too much Curious Expedition and am now too frustrated to continue. Fuck the certain death mode.
I’ve also started table top RPing again! I have a game on Mondays. We had the character gen session last Monday and I’m excited.
Phew! I could keep going, but this is a good summary so I’ll stop here. Perhaps it’ll give me incentive to update again soon.